By Alex Johnson

"I calls um! like I seez um!

Sunday, October 11, a group of friends known as the Hind Lick Golf Team gathered at Raccoon Hill at dawn to compete in a match referred to simply as the Championship.

It was teeth chattering cold. So, the brothers dressed warmly (and smartly). This attire was not permitted to conceal the cherished team shirt. Colored black and worn on top of tee shirts and sweatshirts, it was adorned with gold letters identifying:

The wolfing in the parking lot and Clubhouse warmed our hearts (if not our entire bodies) and signaled that the gathering of friends would rest forever on the precipice of fond memories.

We gathered on the first tee posing for a photograph. Big Berthas, Taylor Mades, Cobras, Dunlops, and Lynx drivers held as weapons to wage symbolic battle against the "Raccoon."

Despite first tee jitters, Chip Daddy scorched this par 4 for birdie. V.J. parred three of the first four holes and Eagle Eyes capitalized on a laser-like tee shot by sinking a short putt for birdie on the par 3, 6. Pooh Bear parred three of the last four holes on the front nine. Overall the golf was consistent as reflected in the scores of the leaders after the first nine: Chip Daddy, 42; Pooh Bear, 43; The River, 43; and V.J., 44.

On the second nine, the golf became lackluster. But, emerging from the pack slowly and confidently was V.J., who scored a birdie on the par 4, 11. He held a two stroke lead over Pooh Bear, until disaster struck on the par 4, 17. His tee shot screamed through the woods like Bebe’s Kids. The third shot (after adding the penalty stroke) landed in the gnarly rough that Chip Daddy was expelled from during a previous outing by the owner like a field hand in Mr. Charlie’s watermelon patch. V.J.’s recovery shot was miraculous, landing about 25 feet from the pin. He two-putted for a triple bogey. V.J. and Pooh Bear headed for the par 3, 18, all square. Pooh Bear’s tee shot was pushed to the right of the green, while V.J.’s tee shot over the lake dropped on the green fifteen, or so, feet from the pin like a bird executing an emergency landing on a postage stamp. V.J. parred the hole for a second nine 43. Pooh Bear double-bogeyed the hole for a second nine 45.

V.J. was in the championship round against the favored Chip Daddy who struggled to a par-less second nine 47 against The River’s second nine 50.

V.J. and Chip Daddy teed-off amid cheers and obscenities. Chip Daddy launched a three iron that pierced the autumn air. V.J.’s 310 drive, forming his signature loop, hugged the left side of the fairway and curved toward the pin.

The first five holes were neck-and-neck. Then, Chip Daddy took a one stroke lead after V.J. flubbed his tee shot on the par 3, 6. But, as noted in recent editions of the Hind Lick Chronicles, V.J.’s golf course management skills have improved markedly. He proved this during the second nine when he followed a triple bogey with a par that vaulted him to the championship round. He would need to summons these skills once again.

On the next hole, par 4, 7, V.J. launched a drive so powerful that it seemed to disappear in the clouds. Chip Daddy’s drive veered right and almost found the lake that traverses this side of the fairway. He landed his approach shot short of the green. He chipped up, and holed his putt for par. Just as Chip Daddy holed out, V.J.’s drive finally fell from the sky about sixty yards from the green. V.J. chipped up about three feet from the hole and sank his putt for birdie. The match was all square.

The funky little par 4, 8, over water awaited our combatants. V.J. grabbed a driver. I questioned his logic. On the tee he took two "Bunyanesque" practice swings that created a gust of wind so powerful that it whisked the teed ball off its perch, As V.J. re-teed the ball, he stumbled in the divots holes created by his practice swings. Before striking the ball, he posed snakelike over it resembling a letter "S" with lips and wearing a baseball cap and size 17 sneakers. Etched indelibly in my mind, however, was his uncoiling and strike that appeared to separate the ball’s cover from its core. The reconstituted ball finally halted 300 yards to the right of the green. A short chip shot about 25 yards landed 2 feet from the pin. V.J. sank his putt for another birdie. Chip Daddy hangs tough on this hole with a par.

Now down one stroke and under the gun, Chip Daddy teed off using a driver on the par 4, 9. His mighty blast unfortunately discovers the lake that he managed to escape on number 7. V.J. launched an eight iron 200 yards as his tee shot. His second shot was short of the green. But, a great chip landing two feet from the hole enabled him to sink his par putt.

V.J. wins the championship with a 39, just two strokes better that Chip Daddy’s 41.

Golf, like life, is good in spots. Sunday was one of V.J.’s spots. Next year could be one of your spots. The Hind Lick Team Championship, therefore, is a good start as reflected in the following achievements.

Tiger recovered from a first nine 54 with a second nine 46, one shot better than Chip Daddy’s 47. Good recovery that, along  with his 87 at Airport, is bound to result in more productive golf

The River’s 43 on the first nine tied with Pooh Bear and was one stroke better than V.J., the eventual champ.

Simp’s par on the par 3,18, was one of only two on this hole. The other par was earned by V.J. and helped catapult him to the championship round. Coupled with his 89 at Airport, a championship is conceivable in Simp’s immediate future

Eagle Eye’s birdie on the par 3, 6, helped him earn a 45 on the first nine, only one stroke (with a one-stroke handicap) away from moving to the second nine. Then, his second nine 47 (with a two stroke handicap) would have been enough to beat Chip Daddy’s 47 and advance him to the championship nine.

Cobra recorded the only par on the very long 432-yard, 17^th.

I asked myself this morning, what do the Hind Lick Team men enjoy most about golf? A few answers came to mind.

We like playing a sport where our performance can occasionally mirror that of the professionals. I mean, we cannot perform a 360-degree slam dunk, hammer a baseball 500 feet, or split the uprights for a 50-yard field goal.. But, like the pros, we have experienced the exhilaration of holing a chip shot for birdie, our first eagle, or a hole-in-one.

I figured also that we like being out doors. This golf season is a perfect example. The warmer winter beckoned us to the first golf season. Bundled in our winter gear (i.e., Gore Tex, rubber-lined warm-ups, or orange garbage bags), we ventured to courses where the fairways crunched beneath our feet or were invisible under a muddy pane and the greens were frozen rock solid. The second season was launched amidst Orlando’s hustle and bustle, and was followed back in Cleveland by golf played so early on summer mornings that dew blanketed the courses like an early frost. And, now, our third season is fall. A time when the autumnal sky is a backdrop to the harvest-colored leaves that descend to the ground and offer cover for the weary golf ball seeking protection from the hacker’s brutality.

Finally, I suspected that what we appreciate most about golf is the fellowship. You know hanging out with your buddies. Talking trash. Wearing team shirts that bear a pet name, bestowed upon you by your pals and exaggerating an idiosyncrasy in your golf game or an unfortunate event (i.e., Chip Daddy became Choke Daddy when he drove the short par 4, 9, at Astorhurst and four-putted)

Friendships endure particularly when time is spent nurturing them. If this is true, then the Hind Lick Team Championship was time well spent.

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